Social Media Under Fire

Trump’s fired the starting gun. Removed the pin. Knifed the back. Like a long love affair kicked into the summer sun Donnie’s decided that @Jack (Dorsey…… is there any other kind of Jack?) is to become a droplet off his duck-like ass. The last feather attached to his media composting hat (… interesting visual).

Jack’s the latest in a string of jilted lovers. Used, scoffed at, trampled and spat out. Look at how it worked out for poor ol’ Kim Yong Ding Dong who is apparently still alive (er, right………). Just don’t tell his stunt doubles.

It could be that Donnie wants to take the whole of Silicon Valley down with Jack just to get California to secede so he can permanently eradicate those smokin’ totin’ lefty delegates from November’s election count. Hey, where Bozzer goes Donnie can follow. Check Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

And if you’re still following me (not in the twitter kind of a way) then you’ll get that the Jack in this tale means TOTAL social media take down. Perhaps not like China where any media caution was jettisoned forever ago to the prevailing tornado of a wind. And not in the consumer way of god I’m so bored of Facebook and twitter and Linkedin gibberish and how in spams name am I supposed to possess a friggin elephant-like memory for every password I conjured up just to watch a stream of drivel from my so called friends who I pray I’ll never actually bump into but naively accumulated forever ago when it was the trendy thing to do and apparently even hotter than going to a Cold Play gig. And go figure how you delete/block/muzzle/censor them!

So Donnie’s gonna give Silicon Valley a dose of the neo-liberal cold freeze cos hey, if a Pangolin can nuke the planet, he should at the very least get a pass for downing a few techies on the West Coast. And what better way than getting them square (is that another Jack tech thing?) where it counts, right between their nuts packed with share certificates, which is Wall Street for we will sue your rear ends for publishing content we don’t like, er I mean is offensive or blatantly false or just plain anti-Donnie.

But, thinking this one through, not that Donnie hasn’t already, if some weird dude posts pics of pangolins getting mass murdered in Vietnam can we ALL sue Zuckerpunch or just Donnie? And if the social media companies become responsible for the content on their platform like publishers then presumably they’ll have to pay us citizens for our/their content which kinda screws local media who was about to get paid out by them but sounds kinda ka-ching for the rest of us.

Maybe Donnie’s onto something. Perhaps the social media company take down is actually his entire beat Joe election strategy. You see, if he gets all the social media companies to pay us for sharing the endless crap we publish on their platforms, er publishing outfits then bingo – the whole unemployment things gone. No more bailouts. No more government funded benefits. The neo-con way to fund UBI.

And who needs the hassle of joining the virtual dole queue if you could get paid for shaking your bootie on tiktok or sharin’ it ALL out pretty loud anywhere else controlled by Zucker/Jack/every-friggin-vc-in-America. Wanna dance the cookaracha that’ll get you $5, wanna like Kim’s latest lip gloss that’ll pay $1, wanna share McDonald’s promo’s that’ll earn you 1c. (MickeyD haven’t gotten to where they’ve gotten without being cheaper than Jock which btw is Scottish for Jack.)

Or, jettison your social media accounts, drown out Donnie and pray that netflix isn’t next on the list.

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Imagine a Post Coronavirus World led by Big Tech

The poster boy of Covid-19 lockdown, governor Andrew Cuomo of New York, has had an epiphany about how to reimagine New York post Coronavirus. A new post pandemic vision for economic and social reconstruction that we should all pay attention to.

His epiphany (not Tiphany – go read the Sun for that) is, though, less new green deal and more new big tech (side) deal so it looks like the only green stuff floating around New York’s gonna be the greenbacks heading for Bill Gates.

You see, what Corona has taught Cuomo is that human contact is a bit passe and robots are the new cool. After all, how many driverless cars caught the virus? And how many bats and pangolins have you seen infecting Amazon’s little robots stacking boxes in the warehouse?

In a flashdrive of digi-genius Andy’s decided that teacherless schools, nurseries and colleges alongside doctorless hospitals, pharmacistless pharmacies (try saying that after a few drinks) and general peopleless everything (check Amazon) is the way to go. His endless drive to win Governor of the Planet 2020 means he’s gonna do everything possible to hit the ultimate Corona target of zero infections, hospitalizations and deaths by taking the human part right out of the equation.

The government of New York’s takeaway (proving they too can do it better than any restaurant) is that the way to hit this target is to keep EVERYONE at home for ever and to invest in twitter cos they just announced that their workers can work from home ‘for ever’ which means they must also have discovered a vaccine against death.

And what twitter has taught them is that everyone in New York should now work, shop, exercise, eat, prey and make love – yep, you guessed it, at home. Period. Until death do us part. After all, there’s a nifty little Microsoft, Google or Facebook for everything else.

Wanna go to a park? Zoom up your local friggin park warden. Wanna visit the museum? Hit up Google Arts and Culture. Wanna date? May as well do the whole thing online until there’s a robot for that. Want privacy? How very 90’s of you. And wanna do some gardening? Come on! There’s astro turf for that.

Cuomo’s new big tech wheeze will work right up until the day that he wakes up, smells the coffee and realises that the good ol days of the Coronavirus might have been a walk in the virtual park compared to a cyber virus that crashes a delivery drone up his ass, turns Bezos’ robots into a bunch of smart little organised droids who want a tonne more money for taking over humankind and has robo cops out robbing every bank in New York at the click of a Tesla chopper.

So Andy, next time you wanna reinvent your planet, maybe let Dave-boy-Attenborough bend your ear away from Schmidt-I-promise-I’m-not-a-plant-sent-by-Google-or-is-it-Alphabet-now and play it safe. Stick with rewilding Central Park. Just make sure to keep the bat’s and pangolins at bay.

If you enjoy these posts on ‘Surviving’ all I ask is for you to support a vital Climate Change project, called DSP, by giving just £3 or just over $3 per month. To find out more CLICK THIS LINK.